..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize