she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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