my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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