My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
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Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
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I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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