He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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