k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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