The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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