do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There r osticjed everywhere
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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