im drinking this country out of the recession.
Is it because I queefed?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize