My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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