I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
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