It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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