Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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