If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize