I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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