So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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