shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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