went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
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