i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
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It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
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I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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