I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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