He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize