i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize