Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize