yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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