he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm having to shit out rocks
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize