Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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