i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize