we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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