We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize