she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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