How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize