don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize