remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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