I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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