Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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