You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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