sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize