so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
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I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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