The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's blow job season.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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