I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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