I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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