Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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