Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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