True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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