Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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