Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
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I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
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Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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