Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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