Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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