some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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