Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
