"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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